Could the summer progress any faster? Although I’m glad that I have some time left to enjoy it, there is really no other question that lurks at the back of my mind other than how I am going to spend it. Up until very recently, the answer was easy, with the MCATs buzzing around my head like bees around the most nectar-filled flower. Now that that time is over, which I didn’t even think would actually be possible, what grand brain-draining project will there be to replace it?
Up until June 30, the fateful day of my exam, this was how I was thinking.
So far, over the entire month of July, now this has been more in line with how I am thinking, possibly even right now.
No matter how redundant and cliche this may sound, the MCAT is the test, the one that really sucks all the brain power out in many different ways you could never imagine and makes you never want to go back. The best part about that is, never before have I gotten to enjoy myself so much with binge-watching Friends on Netflix or rewatching old classic Disney films I used to love when I was little, especially after my trip to Disney World last month. I am not afraid to admit that Disney really is magical for all ages, so call me a kid if you have to. Hey, how about a nice magical picture here? No admission fee!
Unfortunately, not thinking can really get to me at times, and although the urge to relax endlessly constantly lingers over me while I am so busy with clinical work during the week, I always strive to somehow keep myself busy. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a new endeavor since the application cycle for med school has already begun. I am so looking forward to (sarcastically I say) the return of the college essay phase from four years ago, this time in the form of my personal statement- the literature that dictates my aspirations of donning the garb of the upholder of hope and the surrounding wind of circumstances that gave way to my ambitions to embark on this grand journey to that vast realm equipped with the essential maxim to ensure the fine fettle of all who embody the essence of humanity. If you’re like me and not really thinking, half, maybe all, of what I just stated probably made no sense, and you look as confused as my dog when I ask him if he knows he’s a dog. Basically, it’s the essay that states why I want to go to medical school to become a doctor. On top of this essay that addresses all medical schools I apply to, each school has their own secondary applications that ask why their school fits the bill for me specifically.
Although it may seem pretty straightforward what I should do now, the truth is, I don’t actually have much of an idea, and that’s okay. The scores for the exam take a month to come out, and during that time, all I really can do is plan my statement, since most schools don’t send the secondaries until the primary applications include the scores. Another thing to be mindful of is the guilt that comes with uncertainty. If you haven’t laid everything and figured out where you’d want to go, that is totally fine. In fact, I would argue it is essential for healthy development into a more productive lifestyle later on.
With that, I move on to brainstorming possible topics, and my time writing on this blog really has prepared me well with more confidence in expressing myself, both orally and written. Hopefully, that carries over well into those admission piles, and one thing is for certain in all of this: I enjoy it all the way, in spite of the fact that it is painful, long and exhausting, but precisely because it’s painful, long, and exhausting, and because it’s real. I really am applying, I really did take the MCAT, and I really need to start working on my essays before the fall semester comes. The reality of the endeavor and the hard work is what makes the results much more rewarding and fulfilling, instead of me wishing for the results and them magically appearing because of a genie in a lamp.
This is turning out to be one of the busiest, yet most satisfying, summers I have had so far. My mind and thinking power will come back soon, I am sure, and by that time, I do hope that the personal statement that I ultimately craft accurately reflects how much I have thought through this decision to write and master the magic of healthcare through a period of lifelong learning.