Self-deprecation is something that affects everyone, some more than most. For me, it is still something that I am battling today. But I have realized recently, that in order to improve my self-image and become the person that I truly want to be, I have to be aware of the bad habits that I engage in that lead to the lower image that I have of myself. I am going to identify two of these habits and address ways that I over come them. And hopefully, I might be able to help some of you who suffer from low self-esteem too.
1. Do you compare yourself to other people?
One of the biggest problems that I face, is that I compare myself with my classmates. I look at other students and wish that I could be as smart, as social, or as productive as they are. These thoughts only make me feel inadequate. They don’t help me become a better person; they only bring me down. Now, whenever I find myself comparing my capabilities to other people, instead of thinking about how much I don’t like about myself, I think about how much I do like. For example, I think about how I am proud of the amount of work that I have done for the class, and I remind myself that I put in as much effort as I can. Those small reminders really help me feel more confident in myself, so try it the next time you feel like you are not as good as your peers!
2. Do you ever feel like you are not living up to your own expectations?
We all set high expectations for ourselves. We want the best grades, while also being able to balance extracurriculars, maintain our health/fitness goals, and build strong social relationships. Realistically, it is not fair to hold ourselves to such high standards and expect to attain all of them, because if we fail to achieve everything we want, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Instead, we should reevaluate our expectations of ourselves. For example, I make goals in my journal that I hope to achieve in the month. They are not crazy goals like “get an A on every exam” or “work out every day”. Those are extreme goals that I know I cannot meet. Instead, I make reasonable goals like “work out at least twice a week” and “start preparing at least two weeks in advance for each exam”. Those may not seem like very specific goals, or it may not seem like I am pushing myself enough, but honestly goals like these have been working for me. They remind me of what I want to accomplish, while actually being within my range of abilities. And when I am able to accomplish these goals, it feels really good and motivating!
I know how hard it is to stop comparing yourself to others, because I used to do it all of the time. But it only does more harm then good. I am overcoming these self-deprecating habits and you can too! Stop wishing you were someone else, and instead learn to love the person that you are. Recognize your strong points and use them to your advantage. I have given you two tips that have greatly helped me, so now I challenge you…to become the best and most confident version of yourself!