I should really plan what I’m gonna write about before the day I decide to write these.

Idk man. I can’t plan. I have no schedule, I haven’t slept in my bed for a solid week because I ruined my schedule so much and I’m running on a 4 hours a night average. BUT Imma write a blog post anyway, all of mine are random regardless, so it’s chill. A friend mentioned that I could write about Greek Mythology so I’m totally gonna write about that. I used to be really into Greek Mythology when I was younger for some reason (it wasn’t just the Percy Jackson series I swear), so this’ll be a fun blast to the past.

I’m sure all of y’all know Zeus: God of the Sky, the king of the Gods, the Head Honcho, world’s thirstiest Commander in Chief, Big Zaddy Zeus, the Ancient Abs of the Greek (the last two names helpfully provided by my younger sister). He basically became God of the God’s by being lucky and winning at “draw sticks,” which is honestly super admirable and I applaud him. As a college student, lucking your way into being God of literally everything is, like, everything I aspire to do. Now I mentioned Zaddy Zeus was thirsty. This is very true, as he’s famous for the affairs he had, seemingly All. The. Time. This guy had no chill. One of my favorite affair stories he had was withIo. She was just a pretty girl who Zeus thought was hot, so he disguised himself as a cloud to….um……copulate….with…… her… I guess. I can’t write profanities here but imagine your own words. So, it’s a beautiful thing when cloud meets girl, they have a fun night,  Zeus’ wife is understandably jealous, and came down to see what was going on. There’s a couple ways the story goes, but my personal favorite is that jealous Hera (Zeus’ actual wife, not just one of his many flings) turns poor confused Io into a cow. That’s just, the ultimate petty. The Greek Gods are living for the #drama.

Then there’s Poseidon. God of the Sea, who shakes fear into the heart’s of those who defy them if they plan on traveling by sea; a force to be reckoned with indeed. And on top of that he’s lowkey the creator of the horse. Idk man, cause why not. I guess again this randomness came from the God’s desire to get with a hot chick (this time it was Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest) and she wanted a beautiful animal, so Poseidon, God of the Sea, just poofed up one of the fastest land animals. Sure. Why not. My favorite thing about Poseidon actually isn’t necessarily a random myth, I just love how petty he was in The Odyssey. Granted, I get it, Odysseus was super annoying. I have a friend who swears he’s a hero and she loves him to death, but I can’t stand the arrogant guy. I mean yeah, Poseidon can be kind of annoying by needing everyone to praise him for safe travel by sea before he wrecks their whole lives, but like… Odysseus stabbed Poseidon’s son in the eye, his ONLY eye, then bragged about it and shouted his name like he was king of the world. Um, no. Excuse you Odysseus. Take a seat. But anyway, I love that Poseidon’s reaction was essentially “Well you’re just gonna be lost at sea for ten years. Oh you stabbed my son in the eye? Let’s make it twenty, yeah that’s good.”

Last (well not really last, as there’s something like a million and twenty two point six Greek Gods, give or take) we have Hades. My poor bro. I relate most to Hades. In that game of draw sticks between Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades, Hades drew worst and got stuck as God of the Underworld and Ruler of the Dead. Though honestly that sounds like an awesome power. What would you take? “Zeus: Oh I can blow some air around. Poseidon: Well I can slosh this glass of water over. Hades: Oh really? I’ll just summon the dead to fight for me.” Like, Hades really won. I guess it could get lonely though. Which is why my boi Hades essentially tricked Persephone (Demeter’s daughter — a good family blood line I guess, their fresh harvest milkshakes brought all the God’s to the yard) — into staying in the underworld and being his wife. Honestly, same Hades. It’s the only way I’m gonna get a date, man — kidnap the choice specimen and trick them into staying with me by feeding them food. (I’m joking, just so you know. I won’t kidnap people, FBI I promise, I’m just a small Jewish girl who has actual aspirations that I don’t want ruined cause I tried to be funny on an honors program blog. Pls).

So, those are the big three I guess. I think it’s interesting, and I barely even talked about a fraction of them. So if you want to look into them further, be my guest. It’s all really cool.

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