One Writer’s Winning Wit

This column is written in response to an imaginary letter I received from an imaginary person—let us say Rutherford B. Hayes—from an imaginary state—let us say Ohio. The subject of the mysterious epistle was this: how does one live a satisfying life? Well, Ruthie—may I call you Ruthie?—that is indeed a philosophical question which writers have used for years in order to reach a certain … Continue reading One Writer’s Winning Wit

A Holistic Guide to Homesickness by a Certified Basement-Dweller

Yes, this is an article about homesickness brought to you right on the cusp of winter break when most of us are going home for the holidays. I’m sure most of us have experienced some level of homesickness, especially throughout freshman year. For most, it’s the first time we are away from home or away from family for a sustained period of time. And suddenly, … Continue reading A Holistic Guide to Homesickness by a Certified Basement-Dweller

Paul Revere’s Slide

Hark all ye faithful and ye shall hear Of the splendid slide of Paul Revere In the bleakest of winters in Seventy-Eight At Valley Forge, forgot the date… I guess history won’t be my career. Paul said to his pal, “If the British get General Howe or Clinton tonight, Put on the French slugger, M. G. Lafayette; Get ‘Whamilton’ Hamilton in for the fight. ‘Silver … Continue reading Paul Revere’s Slide

How to Actually Rest During Your Winter Break

Let’s play a game. Raise your hand if your fall semester could be described with any of the following completely-random-and-not-at-all-spawning-from-personal-experience phrases: 1.) Perfectly chaotic, 2.) Packed to the brim with activities/schoolwork/work-work/etc., or… 3.) Soaked with weekly bursts of stress tears. If your hand shot up for any/all of these (props for admitting if that last one applies to you), then you’re definitely in need of … Continue reading How to Actually Rest During Your Winter Break

Riddler on the Roof

As my brother pen William Shakespeare once said, “Brevity is the soul of, or more accurately the encapsulating essence of, the concept which shall hereafter and in all subsequent literary maneuvers be referred to as—Bill-you’re-rambling-again—what was I writing about? Ah, yes, wit.” Channeling, as I do, the spirit of this inimitable playwright, I think it’s wise to ask what has happened to the state of … Continue reading Riddler on the Roof

Are BookTok Books Worth The Hype? A Review of Six Popular Books on TikTok

By now, many of you’ve probably heard of BookTok. If you’re unfamiliar with this term, BookTok is a subcommunity on TikTok that focuses on literature with users reviewing and discussing books they’ve read. Every once in a while, a few books go viral within the community and their popularity spreads rapidly. You might’ve even seen a collection of popular BookTok books at your local Barnes … Continue reading Are BookTok Books Worth The Hype? A Review of Six Popular Books on TikTok

Sweater Weather Get-Togethers

Every now and again it occurs to me that I ought to be informing you about deep and important issues currently facing the nation, like taxes, the recent elections, or the president’s new haircut. In the spirit of responsible journalism that has motivated the news industry since the days of Honest William Hearst and Joseph “Trustworthy” Pulitzer, I shall proceed to lay on the line … Continue reading Sweater Weather Get-Togethers

Embrace the Uncomfortable: Lessons from My Psych Professor

When I walked into my Intro to Psych class one fine Tuesday afternoon, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Sure, I was excited that I was finally taking a psych course. Yet there was a twinge of nervousness in the pit of my stomach wondering how the professor would be. I mean, Rate My Professor only gets you so far, you know? But as I … Continue reading Embrace the Uncomfortable: Lessons from My Psych Professor

What Type of Protein Powder is Best?

So, you’ve just started working out in hopes of looking like Inosuke from Demon Slayer: And all you’re eating after your workout is one whole head of cabbage?! Well, there’s absolutely no whey you’re going to get that physique without some protein in your diet! Cooking chicken for every post-workout can be pretty time-consuming, so why not use protein powder? Unfortunately, there are so many … Continue reading What Type of Protein Powder is Best?

Making Voting More Exciting

I have a critique on our current voting system. It’s not that the electoral college should be abolished nor the claim that millions of people are committing voter fraud each year. Instead, it’s this: I voted for the first time this past November 8, and I was struck by how underwhelming it was! My local elementary school gym had three folding tables, each one with … Continue reading Making Voting More Exciting